you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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