Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
