Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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