I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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