Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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