thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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