i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
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