My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
