you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
