Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
