1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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