You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
