remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
