Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
