I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
