A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
