Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
it glows. i had to have it.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
