your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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