I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
50% drunk capacity currently
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
