For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
