There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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