Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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