and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Randomize
