My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
