Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
if only i could text you this smell
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize