Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
bring money and cleavage
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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