after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
