Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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