Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
