And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
