I must be too annoying 4 u.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
