clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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