just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
