Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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