I want to walk on stilts...naked
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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