glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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