it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
