I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
