She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Randomize