I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Is Oprah even human
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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