I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
