Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
