she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
