Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
