alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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