he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
