I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
