I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
