i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize