drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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