I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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