Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
