My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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