i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize