i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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