I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
