ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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