Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
